I’m Consistently seen as happy. Referred by co workers as a walking ray of sunshine. Contagious cheerfulness. 🤗🤩
I only recently realized how much I repress emotions and completely hide them from others. 😶I do act happy because it helps the mindset. It helps me get through troubles. 💪
I didn’t realize that I was APPEARING so closed off when I’m constantly trying to start conversations and build relationships.🤨🧐
I never feel like they care enough. I treat people how I want to be treated but that golden rule DOES NOT WORK. 😔😪However I might get some good karma at times. 💙I show all the love I can, just wanting someone to put back that same effort and charisma. Why does everyone seem so cold and heartless.🙄
When someone is hurt what determines if they turn hateful or if they turn to love.💔
I know I always showed love because I didn’t want others to hurt since I know how it feels. 💘Others feel better from judging and hurting… something people don’t always realize they’re doing… that ego coming in play. Reflecting insecurities on others.⚔️
Why are so many things we do stemming from insecurities and why are we so blind that we try to blame other people instead of taking a look at how you were reacting as well. 🔬
Why is the EGO so present when it hurts others so easily.
It seems like an endless cycle of hurt people hurting people.
When does it stop. 🔮
When do people start looking at themselves.
When do they say I’m hurt but I’m not going to take it out on others.🎁
Then why are the people that turn to love constantly stepped over. Used. Abused.🌝
Where’s the protection for the kindhearted?
💫🌪
I found myself completely ignoring my emotions for other people. ☔️
So worried about pleasing others I abused myself by not respecting myself even when others didn’t respect me. 🌊🥀
It forced the words I wanted to say so deep that I stopped thinking they mattered. 🙅‍♀️
But they do matter and it’s so important to feel them. 😩🤣😍😭😏😁
Not feeling them gets you through the day but at the end you have to deal with them before you go to bed crying every night without knowing why you’re feeling so horrible.😖 Desperately overthinking and battling yourself into depression.😰
Increased anxiety isn’t fun.
Pay attention to yourself and how you feel and most importantly, how your actions AND REACTIONS (including not reacting and keeping it to yourself, being passive aggressive, having an attitude and expecting others to mind read) effect others so you can learn how to better love the people you care about.
A lot of the times our reactions attract the hurt we’re trying to avoid. Inner peace and love is crucial.
We must heal the hurt we have to avoid hurting others💞💓💗

Just the presence of my cat, Mr. Stretchers always improved my mood.
Using animals to cope with emotions is common. They don’t judge you when everyone else does. They’re loyal and have honest intentions.
The grief I feel is proof of the love we shared when he was living.

But I now have to learn how to actually feel my emotions and cope with them productively instead of repressing them thinking that the emotion doesn’t matter anymore.
Working on not taking everything the wrong way, expecting the worst all while drilling myself to have a positive mindset without dealing with the root emotion and hurt.
I just recently realized that the positive mindset became an unhealthy way to cope.

Just trying to feel happy after feeling like crap is NOT a productive way to move on from the emotion!!! I need a happy medium but I can’t seem to find it. I’m either overthinking myself into depression or feeling like I’m fine without knowing if I really am because it made it hard for me to identify my own emotions. Or just acting happy because I know if I throw a pity party all day that will only drag me down.
I feel my emotions SO strongly that ignoring them changed my behavior without me knowing.

Advice for when trying to loose weight.
Smaller portions instead of going hours between big meals. Drink lots of water. Make your sleep schedule consistent and increase the fiber intake. Also taking ginger or magnesium daily can help with digestion!! You want to burn more calories than you take in. Trying to be active every chance you get. Take the long way in to get a few extra steps. Even if it’s small exercise like walking, do it because it will make you feel better and if you eat healthy small portions throughout the day you should have steady energy without overeating and indulging.
Practice mindfulness and being aware of your body and what effects it and my mood.
I cannot stress this enough-when you are trying to avoid eating something drink water! A lot of times we think we’re hungry but what we’re confusing that with is our bodies wanting water, through drinking and eating.
The water fills your stomach if it’s having hunger pains.
Also only eat when you are hungry. This helped me a lot because I would eat when I’m bored.

Drink water when you feel hungry or you’re craving because it will fill your stomach and help keep you hydrated. Sometimes we think we’re hungry when our bodies really need more water. Also something that helped me is only eating when you’re hungry. Don’t eat away emotions and don’t eat when you’re bored which I was guilty of. I have struggled since middle school to loose weight hoping it would stop the bullying. It did make a difference but don’t ever let other people be the reason you want to improve yourself. You should love yourself and respect yourself enough to want to improve for yourself because really you’re only guaranteed yourself in the future. Even that is unsure which is why it’s important to appreciate every moment and to live and enjoy the present.

Don’t ever let other people be the reason you want to improve yourself. You should love yourself and respect yourself enough to want to improve for yourself because really you’re only guaranteed yourself in the future.

Even that is unsure which is why it’s important to appreciate every moment and to live and enjoy the present.

You can have all the advice in the world but if you’re not ready for it you won’t have the perspective you need for it to be helpful.

I find myself learning new depths of things I thought I knew. Like communication. I can always learn more and be flexible.
Not sure why it’s so difficult for me to have compassion for myself. So little respect for myself and my own feelings because I’m so desperate to please others while giving my friends the advice to love themselves and basically do everything I should have done.
I never seem to take my own advice.

Seeing different perspectives can be hard if you don’t know if there’s more to see.
Maybe the trick is to always be looking. To be conscious mindful and alert in interpreting situations and emotions and how those are connected. To always be aware that there can be a different perspective.
Everything I think I know can change.
Based off of how I view it.
New information can update what we know as FACT.
So it’s important to keep in mind we don’t know all the facts and that majority of the time we respond with emotion even when logic tells us to do different.
That gut feeling you ignore-probably the logical part but you push it away to do what you think you want. We need to know that our knowledge doesn’t give us any type of pull over others. By knowing our knowledge isn’t fact and knowing there’s MORE THAN ONE WAY and more than just YOUR way, we can respect what others are trying to tell us. We can really LISTEN when we take a step back from our ego.
Understand that what you want can change so sacrifice can be necessary in the present. Respecting others leads to acknowledging what they need and being proactive in responding in productive ways.

Focus on the present because that’s the only thing you can control. Also acknowledging that everyone has different perspectives because of how they’re raised and their experiences, can be helpful when not liking someone else’s decisions.

You can always change your reaction to things you can’t control. Just have to know when you’re reacting wrong or in ways that push others away.

Release the patterns that cause toxic reactions

-worrying something is a scam… get over fear of investing -trust in unknown

-overthinking the situation into a different reality

-pushing the feelings down to “deal with them later”

-remind yourself of your worth and not to get insecure comparing myself to others

-reinforce positive thinking and new goals that put me outside of comfort zone

-don’t let a negative mood or emotion take quality from your work

-don’t use other people as a distraction from dealing with emotions

-you deserve to be treated right. Still working on identifying what healthy relationships look like…

-stop ignoring emotions. They’re important.

-WHAT YOU FEEL MATTERS. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND PUT YOURSELF FIRST

-Reacting with love instead of assumptions and insecurities

-Continuing to be conscious of my emotions and detach myself from experiences to learn from them

Here I’ll share my thoughts. I’ll add photo quotes for quick summary or I’ll try to make the photo relevant somehow so it’s not only text ☺️

I want to share what I learn from my experiences to not only vent my thoughts but also to help bring comfort for others when they see something that relates to them. I love to find out WHY I’m feeling something or reacting in a specific way…To know you aren’t alone in your pain can make a big difference 💙

I want to use this blog as a chance to get to know myself better. I want to be open with people so they can see who I am. My writing has always helped me express my thoughts in a more organized way.

I would like to connect to other people that understand me and will grow with me. I want to help others get through troubling times because everyone needs a little support💓 and it has always made me feel better to help others.

• I don’t appear this deep in person. I’m seen more as an outgoing scatter brain probably so this is the place to get to know the most intimate parts of my personality.

I’m looking to find people that treat me right or at least put in the same effort. Covid makes it hard to meet new people. Social Media seems to only scratch the surface of who we really are. Hoping that this can be a new resource for support and friendships.