Repressed Anger and Emotional Avoidance: 5 Ways to Find the Positive in Negative Emotion

Do you have trouble dealing with negative emotions? If you tend to repress your anger until it comes out in uncontrolled forms or you avoid emotions altogether until you’re completely overwhelmed, check out these tips for turning negative emotions into positive ones.
— Read on www.psycom.net/emotional-avoidance-repressed-anger

Feel Attacked? The Most Powerful Defense You’ll Ever Have | Psychology Today

Feel Attacked? The Most Powerful Defense You’ll Ever Have | Psychology Today
— Read on www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201209/feel-attacked-the-most-powerful-defense-youll-ever-have?amp

This is so important

How to understand others ‘bad’ behaviors

Don’t be afraid to open up to the people that have proved they care. everyone’s hurt is reflected from them subconsciously. We have to heal it. The people that want to work WITH you to lift each other up and not take each other’s insecurities personally are the ones worth putting effort into.💙💙

People that don’t try to understand your perspective will drain you if you try to please them!!

I recently found out that because I assumed the worst I didn’t open up and people don’t trust others that look closed off and suspicious. I thought I could make friends by just being friendly but turns out the only real good relationships I had were from the ones I opened up in because people really do want to care. Sometimes.

I drove people away assuming the worst from them and we all self sabotage ourselves when we don’t love ourselves and understand that other people’s perspective is MAJORLY impacted by experiences.
Every one has different experiences so we all need to work harder to understand other people’s perspective instead of focusing on the hurt and displaying it in toxic ways.

And to make a conscious effort to remember that when someone hurts you, express it effectively so it doesn’t haunt you later. It’s easier not to take it personally when you know their rudeness stems from THEIR PERSPECTIVE and if you explain to them how their actions hurt you then hopefully the communication can get you somewhere.

There’s nothing wrong with YOU. There’s just so much toxic in the world from hurt people hurting people.

Let’s learn to love ourselves and understand that there will ALWAYS be a different perspective. Just because something is what you’ve always known or done does not make it right. There can be more than one way. What’s right is usually a matter of opinion and humans make the mistake of thinking their opinions and values are factwhen in reality they are flexible.
We build toxic habits without knowing. They don’t just appear . We have to put effort into self work to find out what’s truly hurting us. I appreciate those of you who read my writing.
I hope I explained everything in a way that made sense to YOU. 💙💞

Standing Your Ground: How to win arguments (without destroying relationships) | by Kene Erike | Women 2.0

Strategies for disagreeing with clients, family, and friends, without creating lingering resentment..
— Read on you.women2.com/standing-your-ground-how-to-win-arguments-without-destroying-relationships-f7498feaf472

Hurt people hurt people

I thought it was so silly how people could be so mean but what I found out is many of the people that were mean really did have their own problems.

Yeah people always told me that kids were just mean because they were going through something. I never did get that because I didn’t respond in anger or lashing out when I got hurt. I self isolated or I tried harder to please people when nothing I did would have been enough for them to accept me. I had one family member that I was actually physically around but I didn’t consider them someone I could talk to about my problems.

I felt completely outcasted from peers and everyone else just didn’t seem to understand me. All the “normal” things kids had I did not and I was picked on for not wearing the right cloths and liking things without consideration on if people would judge me for it. I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me and when they started criticizing my face and physical features ALONG with teasing me and pitting others against me so they could gain power or have the illusion they did. People started coming after my personality calling me weird or hyper or too much or my least favorite… annoying.

I told myself not to believe them. I told myself that my freckles didn’t make me look ugly and that I couldn’t fix my teeth or how big my chin or ankles were so I shouldn’t take it to heart. But somewhere between being hurt and trying to cope, I started lying to myself. Saying I was fine every time I was hurt because what was I supposed to do if I wasn’t? Nothing. You just keep going right? That’s what I thought. Just keep going and the struggle will be worth it.

What I didn’t know is the constant pounding of bullies would TREMENDOUSLY impact how I behaved as an adult.

Here I am finally 18. Getting everything I finally want. Then I feel dissatisfaction. Why? Why am I needing to feel such a strong sense of acceptance when I thought I had already thought I accepted myself and started loving myself for who I was.

Because the whole time it was a lie. A lie to myself to keep my heart strong through the struggles. I told myself to love myself but to be honest I took every single word to heart and believed what they said about me as fact.

I get how sensitive that looks but when you don’t have a strong support system, loosing social acceptance can make you feel like it’s not worth living because I felt like I was living for other peoples expectations.

I didn’t know that as a kid you build the habits of what you define as love and if you identify love with being treated poorly then it’s hard to know what’s even real anymore. It’s hard to know how to love yourself when you grow up with everyone telling me reasons why I should hate myself.

So to try and retrain my brain on how to love myself I’m going to try and write consistently on what I should love about myself and things I should be proud of and the people I care about because often I’m too quick to accept the negative with no proof while refusing the positive even with proof. I want to work on changing that.

So I will create lists of affirmations to bring to consciousness the good instead of the bad.

Here goes hope….

I CAN learn to love myself.

I CAN grow and learn from my mistakes and forgive myself how I forgive others.

I will start taking humble credit for my accomplishments.

I won’t let myself be drawn to toxic people because (I know they’ll hurt me so I go after them subconsciously as a way to self sabotage) I will start respecting my worth.

I will start enforcing boundaries on how I need to be treated and stick to them confidently.

I will not let my anxiety overcome conversations.

I will not let my fears of others disliking me stop me from opening up to others and being myself.

I will get over the fear of being unloved. Love YOURSELF.

I will learn how to love myself how I love others.

I will practice assertive communication to lessen confusion and misunderstandings.

I will identify my hurt before I let it hurt others subconsciously. It’s my responsibility to cope through my own emotions without displaying toxic behaviors.

I will break habits by changing how I react.

I will put more effort into stopping self sabotage from feeling insecure.

I will not get overwhelmed when I fall back into a pattern. It’s going to take time. Don’t be disappointed in yourself.

I will stop being so hard on myself. (This is a hard one)

I will focus on what is important instead of letting my emotions effect my effort!!

All these things above are not things I have successfully accomplished but I hope by writing down my goals it will remind me of my worth and how to love myself.

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